Previously Rhetorical Questions
Here are some rhetorical questions and my answers to them. Enjoy.
Q: Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
A: You can’t check whether or not there are that many stars, you can check the paint.
Q: Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
A: Because for some strange reason it actually works.
Q: Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
A: It does.
Q: If the temperature is zero out today, and it’s going to be twice as cold as tomorrow, how cold will it be?
A: Well, if you mean it’s 0ºC (32ºF) then it’ll be –8.89ºC (16ºF) tomorrow. If you mean 0ºF (-17.8ºC) then the temperature tomorrow will be –32ºF (-35.56ºC).
Q: If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?
A: No cushioning material required.
Q: Can you cry underwater?
A: Assuming you’re not too deep (and the pressure will let you) then yes.
Q: Why does round pizza come in a square box?
A: Show me how to manufacture a round box for less money than a square one.
Q: When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
A: Nothing, it can’t talk.
Q: What’s the difference between a novel and a book?
A: A novel is a subcategory of book.
Q: Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
A: Supposing round is the dominant gene the only possible way for Spongebob to be square would be if both his parents had the recessive square gene.
Q: Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?
A: Neither stores any water. They store fat.
Q: If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
A: In most cases, yes.
Q: If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
A: The patient. The doctor’s dead.
Q: Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?
A: If you can sue for hot coffee, you can sue because sleeping pills made you drowsy.
Q: Would you die if you didn't pee?
A: Yes, extended constipation can kill you.
Q: Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"?
A: Everyone I’ve ever seen asked that question has always answered [insert mode of transportation here] first.
Q: If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons?
A: How else are you going to store honey other than in a container?
Q: Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts!
A: Vertically challenged adults tend to take children’s Tylenol. It’s just a smaller dose.
Q: Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves?
A: Yes, yes they are.
Q: If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking?
A: If it’s intentional it’s winking. Otherwise, it’s blinking.
Q: Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?
A: It’s all about public relations.
Q: Why do blacklights look purple?
A: Because they are.
Q: Why do water bottles have a "best if used by" date?
A: The seal is not perfect.
Q: Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing?
A: Because Paris Hilton is a moron.
Q: Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?
A: It does?
Q: If you sneeze and fart at the same time, does a vacuum form in your stomach?
A: Sneezing involves your lungs, not your stomach. So… no.
Q: Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"?
A: Legal? Yes. Nice? Not at all.
Q: Why can't liquor freeze?
A: It can.
Q: If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads?
A: Probably not. One head, like most extra appendages, would be completely inoperable.
Q: How come they don't add the time that we are in our mom's to our age?
A: Because you weren’t born yet.
Q: How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes?
A: A lot of experts categorize potatoes as belonging to the grain category.
Q: Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?
A: Only if they’re very tall. Or if you consider fog clouds.
Q: Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?
A: Joey is short for Joseph, as is Joe.
Q: Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
A: Have you ever eaten a mouse or cat food? So how do you know there’s not? Also, cats tend to play with mice instead of eating them.
Q: Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
A: You can’t check whether or not there are that many stars, you can check the paint.
Q: Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
A: Because for some strange reason it actually works.
Q: Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
A: It does.
Q: If the temperature is zero out today, and it’s going to be twice as cold as tomorrow, how cold will it be?
A: Well, if you mean it’s 0ºC (32ºF) then it’ll be –8.89ºC (16ºF) tomorrow. If you mean 0ºF (-17.8ºC) then the temperature tomorrow will be –32ºF (-35.56ºC).
Q: If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?
A: No cushioning material required.
Q: Can you cry underwater?
A: Assuming you’re not too deep (and the pressure will let you) then yes.
Q: Why does round pizza come in a square box?
A: Show me how to manufacture a round box for less money than a square one.
Q: When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
A: Nothing, it can’t talk.
Q: What’s the difference between a novel and a book?
A: A novel is a subcategory of book.
Q: Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
A: Supposing round is the dominant gene the only possible way for Spongebob to be square would be if both his parents had the recessive square gene.
Q: Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?
A: Neither stores any water. They store fat.
Q: If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
A: In most cases, yes.
Q: If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
A: The patient. The doctor’s dead.
Q: Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?
A: If you can sue for hot coffee, you can sue because sleeping pills made you drowsy.
Q: Would you die if you didn't pee?
A: Yes, extended constipation can kill you.
Q: Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"?
A: Everyone I’ve ever seen asked that question has always answered [insert mode of transportation here] first.
Q: If winnie the pooh was civilized enough to keep his honey in jars, why did he eat it off his hands? Surely he had spoons?
A: How else are you going to store honey other than in a container?
Q: Why does it say do not use before work with heavy machinery on the back of childrens tylenol? I mean..really could we save that many people by getting those darn five year-olds with headcolds off those forklifts!
A: Vertically challenged adults tend to take children’s Tylenol. It’s just a smaller dose.
Q: Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves?
A: Yes, yes they are.
Q: If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking?
A: If it’s intentional it’s winking. Otherwise, it’s blinking.
Q: Why is it called the People's Republic Of China when China's not a republic?
A: It’s all about public relations.
Q: Why do blacklights look purple?
A: Because they are.
Q: Why do water bottles have a "best if used by" date?
A: The seal is not perfect.
Q: Why do "cool" and "hot" mean the same thing?
A: Because Paris Hilton is a moron.
Q: Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?
A: It does?
Q: If you sneeze and fart at the same time, does a vacuum form in your stomach?
A: Sneezing involves your lungs, not your stomach. So… no.
Q: Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"?
A: Legal? Yes. Nice? Not at all.
Q: Why can't liquor freeze?
A: It can.
Q: If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads?
A: Probably not. One head, like most extra appendages, would be completely inoperable.
Q: How come they don't add the time that we are in our mom's to our age?
A: Because you weren’t born yet.
Q: How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes?
A: A lot of experts categorize potatoes as belonging to the grain category.
Q: Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?
A: Only if they’re very tall. Or if you consider fog clouds.
Q: Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?
A: Joey is short for Joseph, as is Joe.
Q: Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
A: Have you ever eaten a mouse or cat food? So how do you know there’s not? Also, cats tend to play with mice instead of eating them.
posted by tah2002 at 2:02 PM
3 Comments:
eh, very good response. You seem to have said that very straight-faced :p
Those aren't rhetorical questions, they're just questions. ;)
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